flange dot com

anj_i_am @ 2009-11-13T13:10:00

2009-11-13T13:09:17Z

Do you know what?? I really fucking love my friends. Not all of them. Some of them I only like. Others I tolerate. But some of them I really, really love.

Right now I am spotlighting the wonderful Miss Holly Peterson for loves. Because she makes me smile. And she's pretty. And she doesn't mind me shagging her ex boyfriend.

<3

Thanks for being my buddy. I wuv you lots. We're going to make xmas/bday epic this year.

xxx

anj_i_am @ 2008-02-13T14:34:00

2008-02-13T14:34:55Z

I really don't feel well.

And I can't actually focus on anything.

Today sucks royally.

Yawn

2008-02-11T13:06:18Z

Urgh, I'm really tired today. REALLY tired. MSN is a bad thing. Talking to someone you get on really well with on MSN is even worse. 3.30am is NOT a good time to be trying to type, laid in bed, with your LEFT hand. No sir-ree. But making up emense Zombie battle plans at 3.30am, in bed, with your left hand, does kind of make up for the tiredness today. :-) I liketh Zombie talk.
And talking the zombie talk with cute ginger boys (eeep! I LOVE GINGERS!) is the coolest. (Not *certain* type boys, but it's all good).

Hehehe. Another fabulous weekend. Pissed as a fucking fart on Saturday thanks to the kind folk in Revs, as well as Caz, Lei, Lorna, Vicki, Shockers, Porn-o-graphic, the scary south african dude, erm..... and those other people that were there. You guys rock my world and I LOVE YOU ALL. Sunday = pyjama day (again) and mammoth 12 hour MSN runs, as well as mail-order pizza which i'm sure did my diet no good, but it tasted yummers, and anyway, I can now pull my work trousers down without un-doing the buttons! So there!

Ok. back to the red bull and the shop to serve the customers that I tought I could skive from today, but stupid work people always phone in sick when I feel like hiding so now I have to actually sell phones. LAME.

xxxxx

anj_i_am @ 2008-02-08T18:35:00

2008-02-08T18:36:30Z

It wont go away.

Some one take me out and make me think of something else?

anj_i_am @ 2008-02-06T22:54:00

2008-02-06T22:56:02Z

i love the pineapple.

the junior senior video.

sometimes i do impressions of it.

i did one a minute ago.

it was cool

i rock

i banged my head off the computder while doing it.

caroline klaughed.

i use far too many spaces/

because i am drunk.

anj_i_am @ 2008-02-06T22:51:00

2008-02-06T22:53:04Z

i quite ,like fat boy silm.

yes

also the man with the cigarettes in the morning is quite hot and i would like to bone him. if i had a bone
i think he orks in woolworths but i am not evewr so sure. do people in woolworths have purple shirts#? becuase if they do her works there.

I like hooly as we had cocktails and i am pissed.

But i love my caroline and her millionaire, but mostly my caroline.

everyone else can GO TO HELL!

anj_i_am @ 2008-02-04T15:23:00

2008-02-04T15:29:01Z

Dear (shit) people on my friends list,

Er....... Hello? Updates? Where?

You all suck,

Disgruntled Flange.

Dear (cute) people on friend's friends lists,

I don't mind if y'all update too. I like to stalk, I mean, READ, your entries too.

Awaiting in ernest,

Spangelina

anj_i_am @ 2008-02-04T11:25:00

2008-02-04T11:26:57Z

Dear people on my friends list,

Can someone update please? I have nothing to read.

Thanking you in advance,

Flange

wank

2008-01-31T23:19:23Z

I just dyed my hair, and it looks to me like it's pretty much the same colour.
rubbish. I wanted to be a faux-semi-goth for a while. shite bags.

off to Londinium tomorrow. just for the day. with myself. I am looking forward to a day with my own thoughts. i think.

erm.... that's it.

yes. it really is

anj_i_am @ 2008-01-30T16:45:00

2008-01-30T16:46:16Z

You all suck for not commenting on my 2 previous entries.

:-p

question

2008-01-29T13:20:47Z

How is it possible to maintain a calm exterior when inside you are going 'waaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa'?

Drunk memories are not good memories. You remember things wrongly, like, you think things were 1000 times worse then they actually were, or your specticles are so rose-tinted it beggers belief.

Allow for the panning. Allow for the whatevers. Breathe.

*I hate you God, for inventing hotness.

What a weekend!

2008-01-28T11:55:21Z

coffee, roast pork, cute boy, PIE!, kissing, dancing, SOUTHEYS AND COKE!, snuggles, sunshine, Labyrith, tickling, Noddy, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, more dancing, shots, MSN, handholding, giggles, THRILLER!, roast chicken, penis :-D, friends, crying, really cute boy, closure, more tickling, no sleep, chocolate profriterolle cake of doom, perfection.

This weekend totally ruled!

:-D

anj_i_am @ 2008-01-24T10:50:00

2008-01-24T11:11:07Z

I don't know what's wrong with me.

The first is the whole Heath Ledger thing. I'm really bothered by the fact that he died. I'm not gonna pretend that I was his biggest fan, or that he was my favourite actor or anything, but I did, on occassion, go to the cinema specifically to see a film coz he was in it. And I actually believed that, in the future, I would meet and marry Patrick from 10 Things....... I know that's stupid but man, I loved that boy. I don't have any personal experience of death. All my grandparents died before I was born (or when I was like 5, so it makes no odds). My parents are both still here, as are my brothers and sisters and their kids. None of the aunties/uncles or cousins I actually know have died and I've never lost a close friend. Or any friend for that matter. That measn that the only people I 'know' who have died are celebrities. Usually, when someone famous dies who I liked it comes as a bit of a shock. There are some "oh, that's a real shame"s, but that's it. But this is different. I don't WANT him to be dead. I liked him, I liked his work, he seemed decent. You hear all the time of stars being wreckless, all the Kate's and the Britneys and the Amy's and the Paris' and the so and so, but you didn't hear that of him. He wasn't in my National Enquirer because he'd been done for DUI again, he was in there pictured with his family, his little girl, if at all. I know that it doesn't mean that he didn't have personal addictions/issues (I'm not making assumptions until the cause of death is established), that weren't displayed in public but he seemed so normal. So why? And why do I care? I didn't know the guy. Do I have a right to care? Can you mourn for a celebrity? Someone you didn't know? Is it disrespectful to the people who did know them and do have to mourn? I was soooooo looking forward to The Dark Knight and Heath's Joker, now, I'm not sure I could even watch it. Part of me thinks it would feel wrong, but another part thinks it would be a fitting tribute. Not just for me to watch it, but for everyone who watches it. I feel stupid for caring. But evertime I see the word's HEATH LEDGER - FOUND DEAD, it tears me up a little and I wish it wasn't true. I just don't understand why I feel like I wish it wasn't true. And I don't understand if I have the right to feel like that.

I was going to write abut something else here too, but it is going to have to wait. It doesn't seem right to write about something so trivial..... when in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter.

ok

2008-01-22T22:54:21Z

if heath ledger is actually relly, really dead, as opposed to this being a hoax, I will not be impressed!

anj_i_am @ 2008-01-21T20:17:00

2008-01-21T20:40:04Z

Paid the first £100 of the holiday. Had to raid my ISA but it's paid. Woo hoo!

Been looking up tickets to disney/universal etc and they are fecking expensive. Gonna cost half as much as the holiday, just for tickets. But it'll be worth it.

Caz and I are going to see AVP in about an hour. I hope it's good. I liked the first one so maybe it will be.

Soooooooo......

2008-01-18T20:51:23Z

I am dying a death due to cold at the minute. I think it's only a cold. I can still stand up (just) but I can't deal with bright lights. I need, need, need to have a couple of days in bed, but I really can't take the time off work. It's too busy. And I still don't have a real manager to take the reigns. Rubbish.

On the plus side, in 10 months and 2 days I will be in Florida. YIPPIE! I booked it today. Only £550 for a fortnight in a sexy villa and fights on Virgin jumbo too. Going with me ma and pa and the sis and the neice, which will be a little annoying no doubt, but it's all OK because I will GET TO SEE MICKEY MOUSE and hopefully Buzz Lightyear and Stitch. =) In Universal Studio's now there is a Dr Seuss land (I have him to thank for my user name), and there is a cafe where you can actually eat GREEN EGGS AND HAM!!!! I'm soooooooo going there. So the next 10 months will involve parting with over £1000 but fuck it, I haven't had a real holiday in 4 and a half years so screw it. Woot woot! Very excited.

That's all.

=)

2nd

2008-01-11T23:48:52Z

Just wanted to mention that I love the word fiasco.

That's it really.

Grrrrrrrr......

2008-01-11T23:46:52Z

My life is shit at the minute. I'm bored. I need to find things to do. I am irratable, so much. I get mad at the smallest things. Maybe I just need to get laid. :-/

Erm....... I'm fed up with people's moaning. Quit complaining about the fact that you have friends and a decent family and a job and so on. Please stop moaning about *all* of the men who want you and it's oh-so-difficult to chose between them. Oh dear. My heart bleeds. Try having no interest. From ANYONE. EVER! (to be honest, apart from the boy thing - I really do have no boys interested in me - I'm probably aiming this rant at myself. I really should make more use of what I have).

It's honestly not that I mind being single. I don't. And after the Steve fiasco, I need some time to re-assess my wants/needs so as to not make the same mistakes again. But I just miss........ company, I guess. Those silences that aren't at all akward because you can just *be* with that person. I have that, with a couple of my girlfriends, but I guess the other thing I miss is closeness. You don't get intimacy with girlfriends. (And trust me, I've tried. hahahaha). I wish I didn't have to cuddle up to Jim the tiger when I'm in bed. I wish I didn't need an extra blanket to keep me warm. And I wish, when I'm parked on the sofa every night, that I could be resting my head on the lap of *insert name here* instead of on the fuzzy cushions.

Urgh. I wish I wasn't me. In my head. Right now.

Can't remember when I last saw you laughing.........

2008-01-01T01:44:18Z

So, 2008 then. Hmmmmmmmm............ can it be worse then 2007? More then likely. Especially if you count the fact that I now officially turn 25 this year. Bumflaps. Anyway, I don't like new years, so to make up for that I am drinking Southern Comfort, and waiting for Rocky Horror to come on by listening to Phil Collins. So sue me.

Hope it's a good one to any of you who need to believe that this year will miraculously be better then the last due to the fact that there's an 8 at the end now.

And remember: She's an easy lover.

(I wonder if the girl who this song is about is happy about being deemed an Easy lover?)

hmmmmm.....

2007-12-27T23:39:38Z

going to keep this short and sweet as i have busted my arm and it hurts like a bitch to type with my right hand so i shall just be using my left......

i have been missing steve a lot recently. until i see him and then realise why we shouldn't be together. he is a very selfish person. i never really realised when we were going out but i can see it now. i hate people who only think of themselves, especially when i usually give so much, too much probably.

oh and i have a stalker. yes, yes i do. Thing is he is fucking hot but a knobber as well. A complete fucking cunt. But hot. it is a dilemma because he is so hot yet such a r-tard, but i have been doing my best to ignore him and not get entwined in his games, and i am doing a good job. trouble is that my ignoring-ness just serves his persistance in the stalking. if a woman was texting/messaging etc as much as he is she'd be labelled a bunny boiler. he thinks he has control over me because looks-wise, he is outta my league so he thinks i'll put up with shite coz i'm soooooooo honored to have a man like him flirt with me or pay interest to me. well i'm not, and i wont. but god-damn! is he hot!!!!!

Have to leave it there as my arm feels like it may fall off. =(

P.S: alot of people have been pissing me off recently.

P.P.S: I forgot to say Merry christmas.

If anyone doesn't like it then I don't give a shite........

2007-12-05T21:23:17Z

There was a spotlight recently called before i go, or something like that, where you post shit you wanna do/say before you die. I wrote a list. But no letters to anyone, coz I didn't see the point. What's the point in saying something if the person/people it is intended for never get to see it? Well, that kinda contradicts what I'm about to do, because not everyone I am going to post to/about has access to this. But I'm gonna do it anyway. I can't decide if I'm going to add names yet. I don't think that I will because my guess is if I mean that much to you then you should know who you are......

So here goes.

I hate the fact that I can't get over you. That even now, 3 years on, you still manage to get under my skin. I wonder if I will ever find someone to live up to you, or the memory of you, at least. It still hurts me to think of what I had and lost, but it's all fading. YOU are fading. I can't work out if what I do remember is really real or a made-up version. If I am kidding myself into remembering it being better then it was. Only I dont think it is/was. I hate that no-one is ever good enough. And I hate that you moved on so quickly, albeit forced. If only I'd had your child. Would it be me instead of her? Would it be 'us' instead of 'you'? I just want the hurt to go away.

I wish you would talk to me more. I know it isn't what you do, but I hate to see you hurt and not be able to do anything, because you keep so much inside. I need you to know that I will always listen. Even if it is only when you're pissed. I love you more then you could realise, even though sometimes I feel like I live in your shadow. You are so much better then me. You're the Batman and I'm the Robin. I'm the bafoon of a side-kick that people make fun of, not the superhero they look up to. That's what you are. I envy you at times, although I know it isn't as glamerous being you as I think it is. I'm not much of a best friend, I know, but I will love you til the day I die. I just hope one day I can do as much for you as you have done for me.

(God, this is harder then I thought. I hate how easily I cry!)

We were never going to work. We were never going to go anywhere. It was stupid for us to think otherwise. Did you ever really think it? Coz I don't think I did, not really. I felt pressure to make it work for other people, because I didn't want to have to admit another failure. You have hurt my confidence so badly. You have hurt my heart more. I trusted you and I shouldn't have. You were no good for me. And yet, I still love you, and I still miss you. And when I am weak I want you back more then anything. But it is the worst idea I have ever had. One day I want to be your friend. One day I want to be able to sit with you again and watch movies and eat KFC. But not yet. I would just kid myself that things could be ok, when I know they never will be. I always said 'no regrets', but I really regret not getting out of this sooner ansd saving a little more of my sanity. But no going back. One day it will be ok. I still care so much.

You don't need a man to make you happy.

I think you are pretty cute. I've been deliberately delaying your issue so as to have more time to talk to you. I'd love to buy you a drink sometime, to make up for the hassle. But I really have to ask, are you gay?

You are beautiful and deserve true happiness. It will come to you soon.

I should pay more attention to you. I'm sorry if it seems like I don't. We need to make more time for eachother as I have a blast when we are out.

Why didn't you say sorry when you said you would? Did I really not mean anything to you enough to say those words that were going to be so difficult for you to say? If you didn't mean all that stuff then they should have been easy. I AM SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN IT. That's all. I cared - care - so much and you washed your hands so easily. I still try to keep up with what's going on in your life and I am truely happy for you. I wanted you to say sorry so much. I wanted you to be sorry. I guess it's over for good.

Your constant paranoia and moaning drives me mental. I wish I never met you. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

I wish you wouldn't hide so much from me. I want you to be a proper mum, and hug me like mums should. I want you to be proud of me and I don't think that you are. I'm sorry I am such a disappointment.

I love you more then anyone. You have been a fucking prick in the past but you have loved me as your own and that's exactly what I am - yours. I miss you when I'm not home. I wish we could show it more.

Why didn't you say anything about me and Steve? Not so much as an 'I'm sorry to hear that'.

yeah.....

2007-11-28T22:08:32Z

we broke up. End of. Another failure. Well done me.

anj_i_am @ 2007-11-07T20:43:00

2007-11-07T21:01:02Z

So, things are, at last, somewhat looking up. Got a cover-manager for a month or so, so that's taking the stress off work a bit. Weirdly, he's my ex-next door neighbour, who I grew up next to! Yup, he works for the same company as me, and is now helping me run my shop. Odd. We are launching the apple iphone on friday (at 6:02 pm, if anyones interested) and I am tres excited about it. We had the delivery of them today and let's just say I booked in A LOT of iphoneage. Yippie! I have to work 14 hours on friday, but it's gonna be a wicked laugh and I looking forward to it.
The flat is pretty much sorted. In a sense that we now have a sofa and stuff. There are still boxes to unpack (namely mine), and I still have a bit of furniture to put together, but pretty much it's good. Bit weird though as sometimes it feels like I live here on my own. Caz works a lot of nights so often it's just me. When I was in the old house it never really occurred to me that she was hardly around coz rizzy was always there so the house was always lively.I miss that. But it's nice to have time to myself.gives me time to chill after a hard day and the office. Lol.
And steve and I are going well too. Obviously the work thing was putting a strain on our relationship, which I said it was, but I'm just glad to be proved right. It's not that we are incompatable, we just don't handle stress well together. His loan has just come through too, which means he doesn't have to worry about rent etc, which is even less stress to take out on eachother! :-) we've both been so busy of late, it's kinda hard to get to spend any time together, but we manage a couple of nights a week and it's good. I don't need to see him everyday to know that he loves me. And he does love me. Nearly 8 months now. 4th longest relationship for me, and if we make it to jan it'll be the third. Got another year to go to get to number one but you never know..... ;-)
I have been trying to go out a bit more as well. Lyn and stu have been wicked and I've had a really good time with them. I feel so totally out of the loop with regards to the andy/dan/sammi saga etc. It's kind of sad but friendship is a two-way thing. I don't know what I mean by that.
Holly and ash, we need to go out! For cocktails! Now!!!!!

Love to all. I need a smoke.
XxxX

this is probably a really stupid question......

2007-10-27T21:31:22Z

Do any of you ever feel as though your life is slipping away from you? Not in a 'I'm dying' sense, but in a 'oh my god, why the fuck have I lost all control of everything?'. I just can't seem to pull myself out of this downer at the moment. I have tried but only half-heartidly. At the moment I really don't have the energy to fight it. But I also don't have the energy to continue as things are. This time it isn't all about steve.
I graduated from uni in july 2005. That is a total of 27 months ago. 2 and a quarter years. Over 800 days. And what do I have to show for it? Well, a better job now then what I did then I suppose. Still at the same place but with a shed load more responsibility and more moolah. But surely that's expected? Progression? Do people really work for the same company and not get promoted when they're with them so long? Things at work are ok I guess. But still stressful. I want a holiday right now more then I've wanted anything ever!
What I don't want is to waste my life in northampton forever. Thinking about it I don't really have much keeping me here. Ok, there's the few (very few) friends I still have and stev of course. But if I wanted to keep doing my job I could do it anywhere. I think I want to move away. Within a year or so. The prospect of a fresh start used to scare the shite outta me but not any more. The prospect of staying here living this life forever scares the shite outta me now.
I want to travel. I want to see the world. I want to watch the sun set over a beach in hawaii and wear flowers in my hair in san francisco. I want to not have a job for a while, to rely on my talents (whatever they are) and myself to get myself through. I want to dance. I want to be the free spirit I always thoguht I'd be when I was growing up. I want to see wild parrots in australia with my uncle and cycle through prague. I want to stand under the eifel tower again and look up through it to the top and feel sick again. I want to see orang utan in their natural habitat and feed a baby one cradled in my arms. I want to laugh again. Really laugh. with my whole body, until I ache. I haven't laughed like that in years. But above all I want to surround myself with the people who I love and who love me. The numbers seem to have deminished of late so maybe part of me wants to find new people to love.I am so lonely.
But it's all well and good talking the talk. It's the actions I care about. And actions are hard to follow through on.
Fuck! Can u have a mid-life crisis at 24?

blackberries rule!

2007-10-21T21:56:10Z

Apologies if this messes up but I am posting using the blackberry. If it works I will be even more impressed with this amazing feat of engineering then I have been all weekend, and I was, quite frankly, really fucking impressed! This little piece of technology saved my bacon this weekend when I got *slightly* confuzzled in london at half twelve at night. Steve and I went to the theatre to see Avenue Q, (which, by the way, was FUCKING awesome! Absolutely hilarious! Go watch! NOW!). And came out about 11. We got some ben and jerry's and headed to the station. Got one stop up the track and the bastards say they've closed the central line, then we go back and the say they are closing the picadilly line, then they fucking evacuated us from the platform and closed leicester square station at midnight on a saturday night! We gathered it was probably rugby-related, but there were police everywhere and everything. I have to say it was pretty unnerving. So anyways, we deicided to walk back to the hotel ehich took an hour and a half ish, mostly coz we didn't really know where we were going, but jolly good job I had the blackberry coz it has maps and gave us directions. :-) saw buckimgham palace at about half twelve at night which was nice, only we kinda stumbled upon it, which was random. Wandered down the southbank today, walked round the tower of london and across tower bridge, talked a lot about how much of a better spy I'd be then steve (we were talking about MI6). It was fun. I got a new david and goliath t-shirt that has a rock and a ruler with smiley faces on them and speech bubbles. The rock's says (to the ruler) 'u rule' and the ruler's says 'u rock'. Cracked me up! Also got a paul frank handbag with skurvy the skull on it and a socl monkey key ring, oh and spent too much money in cyber candy. So yeah, that was london. I went coz it's my birthday tomorrow. I am not happy about this fact. I don't want it to be my birthday and it's gonna be shit anyway coz caz is working and steve is at uni, so I'm actually gonna be alone on my birthday. LAME! Can't be arsed to say anymore yet. Pretty tired now anyway. God bless blackberry. X